CBT: Fourteenth Session #MHAW17

This session we talked about me needing to go out more by myself, I’ve started going out more, with friends and my family but I only feel safe going out with them. I’m slowly going out by myself, to places like Starbucks but it’s such a challenge and I don’t stay there for long which is the problem. I need to stay there longer, like exposure therapy basically!

Behavioural Experiment

My therapist mentioned this, she wants me to go out 3 times within the next week, by myself and I must not go home if I have a panic attack. I must ride it out whilst still being out and away from my safe zone which is my home. Which will be really hard, but I can do it! I need to keep motivated! again, like exposure therapy!

Worrying and overthinking

I mentioned this to my therapist today as lately, especially the last few months, it seems to be getting worse when mostly everything seems to be getting better, which is annoying! I told her everything, that I never really go out by myself due to the fear of having a panic attack and having people laugh at me, we spoke about that and I told her it happened when I was in school and college, but not since. That is always playing on my mind though, I worry about what people think when they look at me, worry about what they might say if I am midst panic attack. She asked me a good question, it was “what do you think you look like when you have a panic attack? I basically said a mess, I feel really hot when panicking so probably red in the face, breathing all over the place and sometimes crying. She then asked me to stand up in front of the mirror. This was weird as I hate looking at myself in the mirror because of my BDD. Anyway, I did it. It was so worth it. She made me breathe really fast, which triggers a panic attack. She then asked me “do you look any different” and apart from a bit sweaty no I didn’t! This has changed everything for me. For ages, I thought I look so weird and horrible when I have a panic attack, apart from the crying and the sweatiness! – the room was so hot it’s unreal!

Safety Mechanisms

We spoke about what I do when I’m out to make me feel more at ease/safe. I said my fidget spinner, headphones, my phone and my fidget cube. She doesn’t mind me using these for now as I am getting close to being able to go out by myself a lot more, but soon I will need to try to go out without these, which will be a challenge but I am 100% up for it!

 

Therapy is going great lately, as you can tell by the blog posts probably! It is going so well and I feel like my mental health is the best it’s been this year, what a change! 2 months ago I wasn’t doing so well, but now I am doing so well! It does get better!

Liam

25 ways to indulge in self care. #MHAW17

Self-care is incredibly important, on your good days, and your bad days. Self-care is always needed. I try to take the time to self-care every day or so, but when I’m feeling bad, it’s hard but it’s still possible! I wrote a post on self-care, you can check it out here!

This post will include 25 methods of self-care, however, self-care is different for everyone! It’s important you find a few things that you do for self-care so you can alternate them each day or so!

  1. Have a nice, hot bubble bath.
  2. Read a book you enjoy, even if you’ve read it already!
  3. Go for a walk or a run.
  4. Go fishing, it’s really relaxing!
  5. Take a social media break, at times we need to do this.
  6. Clean your room, organise things.
  7. Play your favourite song, whether it be a piano, guitar or whatever you play!
  8. Draw! Draw anything! Let your mind run free!
  9. Have your favourite meal for lunch.
  10. Listen to your favourite songs or listen to a good upbeat playlist! (Spotify has loads!)
  11. Watch your favourite tv show or movie. (I recommend Shaun of the dead!)
  12. Take a chair outside and watch the sunrise/sunset
  13. Watch Netflix all day, if you want! (my favourite self-care method!)
  14. Search positive quotes and write them down on a piece of paper.
  15. Do some mindfulness activities.
  16. Have a go at meditation!
  17. Have a pamper night with one of your best friends, or by yourself!
  18. Watch funny fail videos on youtube and laugh for ages.
  19. If you have a to-do list, cross out some to-dos!
  20. Practice breathing methods.
  21. Get a towel, lay down on some grass and watch the clouds move.
  22. Go for a nice bike ride with some good scenic areas!
  23. Fix something you’ve been wanting to fix for ages!
  24. Wear your comfiest clothes, may it be a onesie, a hoody or whatever!
  25. Treat yourself. That new thing you saw in the shop and you want? Buy it!

As I said, self-care is different for everyone! I have listed 25, some that I actually do on a very regular basis! If you have any different methods and would like to share with people, comment on this post and people will see them!

Liam

Music & My Mental Health #MHAW17

For me, music helps me so much in related to my mental health, especially when I’m having a bad mental health day. I also love music so much (if you follow me on twitter, you can probably already tell that I love music so much and my music taste is so wide, I LOVE MOST MUSIC!)I find music really chills me out and makes me drown out the horrible urges and thoughts, especially if I play it extremely loud! – a tip I got from my therapist to help stop urges, and it works!

I find music really chills me out and makes me drown out the horrible urges and thoughts, especially if I play it extremely loud! – a tip I got from my therapist to help stop urges, and it works! I have heard from other friends that music also helps them, it’s a beautiful thing, right?!

I thought, why not write a post and tell you guys what my favourite songs when I’m having a bad day, a good day, in need of energy and when I feel good!

Music for when I have a bad day:

  • Bleachers – I Wanna Get Better
  • WALK THE MOON – Shut Up And Dance
  • The 1975 – UGH!
  • The xx – Angels
  • S Club 7 – Reach
  • Pvris – Holy

Music for when I am having a good day:

  • Ian Carey Project – Get Shaky
  • Christine and the Queens – iT
  • Clean Cut Kid – Vitamin C
  • The xx – Say Something Loving
  • The Cranberries – Dream
  • Theia – Roam

Music for when I need energy:

  • Skepta – Shutdown
  • The 1975 – Heart Out
  • Fickle Friends – Say No More
  • Cascada – Evacuate The Dance Floor
  • S Club 7 – S Club Party
  • The Veronicas – Untouched

Music for when I feel good:

  • Good Charlotte – Lifestyles of the Rich & Famous
  • HOLYCHILD – Happy With Me
  • Kesha – Your Love Is My Drug
  • The 1975 – Loving Someone
  • Sia – Cheap Thrills
  • The Wombats – Greek Tragedy

I could of literally probably list about 50 songs per list but you know… that’d be too long and you wouldn’t read it.. right?

If music helps you, then stick by it! If it doesn’t, try and find some songs that cheer you up, I guarantee music can help in some way, it’s a beautiful thing!

Liam

What having mental illness’ feels like. #MHAW17

I thought, with it being Mental Health Awareness Week 2017 this week, I felt like asking my followers/people on twitter what they would tell someone if they had to explain how it feels like having mental illness’

Here’s what I got from all my amazing friends on twitter! (Some chose to be Anon)

 

“It’s like you’re screaming and no one can hear. You almost feel ashamed that someone could be that important, that without them you feel like nothing. No one will ever understand how much it hurts. You feel hopeless like nothing can save you. And when it’s over and it’s gone, you almost wish you could have all the bad stuff back, so you can have the good” – @amylouiseblogsx

 

“It feels like you’re suffocated, suffocated by your own self. By your own mind, by your own brain. It also feels like your brain is turning on you, making you feel all these horrible thoughts and negative things. It makes me feel like I am alone in this battle. It makes me feel like nobody likes me and everyone finds me so annoying and pathetic as I am struggling so much” – Anon

 

“With BPD I have no idea what’s coming next. I can go 0-10 in a matter moments. I have periods of stability and periods of depression. Living with MH problems is so hard because the right support isn’t out there. If treatment was more accessible lives would be made much easier” – @ohevieee

 

“Yanno when you’re playing sims and you take the ladder out of the swimming pool so they can’t get out and drown? That.” – @rosiebsteele

 

“Living w/mh problems is like you’re drowning in the sea of your mind yet to everyone else it’s like you’re swimming. it’s exhausting.” – @LiVNiZZZLE

 

“Don’t judge people. You have no idea what’s going on in somebody’s head. Living with a mental illness is a daily battle. You need to focus on getting through each day. Not every day is a challenge, but when the good days come around they are amazing” – @louisechatters

 

“For me, struggling with your mental health is like being let down by a good friend. You’ve an influence on them, but most of the time you’ve no conscious control. Disappointment creeps up on you when you least expect it, and no matter how hard you commit you always seem to revisit that feeling of being let down every so often.”                – @gemcals

 

“Living with a mental health illness can be more than crappy. I have had some very dark days, days were I wasn’t sure I wanted to the the sun rise the next day. Some days I don’t get dressed, some days I don’t talk to anyone. The self doubt the low self worth can be isolating and extremely demoralising. That said there is a light. There are so many amazing people out there ready to help and support you. Mind, Samaritans, Rethink Mental Illness, to name just a few. Not to mention the online peer to peer support you can find. Please remember you are worthy, you are loved and there will always be some who will listen. You are not alone.” – @Mike_Douglas_

“Living with a mental illness is a constant challenge. Every day is different, some are easy but some are very difficult. It can be almost humiliating knowing that you don’t have full control of your brain. Normal things people take for granted such as going to the shops or calling a friend can sometimes be impossible, making life very lonely. But, the more you learn about your illness, the better you can make your life. I have found self-care routines that help and medication helps to stabilise my mood.”             – @OceanofFearXx

 

As you can see by all the awesome people telling how hard it can be to live with mental illness’ you will be able to tell that it is extremely hard, so if you have a friend or a loved one suffering from their mental health, be sure to be there and make sure they don’t feel lonely!

Liam