A letter to Gemma #MHAW17

Where do I start? You are such a great friend, you may not realise this but you’ve saved my life. Being able to speak to you about anything and everything really helps. I feel like a burden to you sometimes, but I know that is just my MH speaking, and I know you truly care about me, and that’s amazing as I feel like not many people do.

I love how you are always there for me, anytime, any day. I can always rely on you to cheer me up with your hilarious jokes (you are so funny it’s unreal)I don’t know how you do it, but whenever I have urges or horrible thoughts, speaking to you makes them all go away or makes them controllable.

I remember you helping me with finding sites for stock photos, and ever since then we have become so close friends, and I am so happy for that. If I didn’t have a friend like you, I don’t know where I would be, or what would happen to me really.

You are a star, you are absolutely brilliant and beautiful. You are so kind to everyone on twitter, and I am so fortunate to have you in my life, you deserve all the love in the world and all the chocolate.

I love love love your blog, you are such a talented writer, and you always help me with posts, you are one of the best bloggers in my eyes. I admire how honest you are and how strong you are with battling your mental health, your strongness drives me to beat my mental illness, it really does.

I wanted to write this to show my true appreciation to you, Gemma, I am currently sobbing whilst writing this (i truly am an emotional mess). I am so lucky to have a friend like you, I always feel like I don’t deserve you. I love you, you’re the best.

If you want to read her amazing blogĀ or follow her on twitter, here are the links!

https://mysweetanxiety.com/

@gemcals

An open letter to my depression

// TRIGGER WARNING: SH/SUICIDAL THOUGHTS//

You are honestly, the worst thing ever. You and anxiety, make my life so hard, every day is a battle because of you. I can not get away from you, you make me harm myself and make me feel like I would be better of dead, you make these thoughts pop up into my head on a daily basis, why? You make me isolated in thoughts that are not very nice, and make my day suck, even if I do something I love, somehow you find a way to make it suck.

You make me isolated in thoughts that are not very nice, and make my day suck, even if I do something I love, somehow you find a way to make it suck. You make me hate going to therapy, and don’t even make me start about you teaming up with anxiety to stop me from going out and hanging with people, which I’d love to, but you and anxiety stop me.

Some days, I wake up actually happy, very happy sometimes, but for some reason, you mess it all up and make me feel so down it’s unreal, this happens every time. I’ve not had a day where I’ve felt 100% happy in months because of you. Having you in my head is not something I want, so why are you in my head? You suck.

However, because of you, I feel like I’ve become a stronger person, mentally. I know it’s a battle but battling every day makes me a strong person. You made me want to find a hobby to distract me, which is actually blogging, which is something I’ve actually loved doing since I started, so thanks for that.

You won’t defeat me, this week is the week where I will start defeating you. You will never beat me, I will beat you.

Liam

An open letter to my anxiety.

I’ve struggled with you for years, since 2012. Nobody knows how you make me feel. It took me ages to figure out what I was feeling, and took me years to finally open up about it, you’ve made my life a living hell. Thanks.

Every time I feel like going out, you pop into my head and stop me from going out, making me overthink every situation, and making me think the bad of every situation. You stop me from going out, you stop me from making friends, you stopped me from working at a job I did once enjoy, but you stopped me enjoying it, and made me quit.

Anxiety, you’re in my head, every minute of my life. Even at this moment of writing this, you’ve made me cry so much whilst writing this. I didn’t ask to have all this anxiety going on inside of me, so why has it happened, why me? I never chose you, so why do you think you should of chose to ruin my life?

I’ve had awful experiences trying to socialise because of you, you’ve made me cry so much in public, you’ve made me have panic attacks in public, and you’ve made me avoid every social situation possible this last month. I’ve even stopped eating completely for a few days at a time just because you make me lose my appetite completely. You even tried your best to ruin the best day of 2016, when I went to my first concert ever, you made me have three panic attacks on the train. But I stopped you.

You’ve made me the person I am now. I have finally asked for help and i’m going to stop you ruling my life forever. It was a battle to even get to the point of going to my doctor, but that battle has made me a stronger person, so thanks for that.

I also found a band because of you, a band that makes me chill out whenever I need to, all I do is just listen to my favourite songs by them, I’m really appreciative of that because they are now my favourite band ever, and I have seen them live.

 

I will not let you defeat me. I will always win.